i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
