remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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