My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
