Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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