I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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