The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
