I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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