I love black thongs
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
