Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
