Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
