I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
