i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
