I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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