Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
