You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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