Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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