fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
