Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
