Having a random hookup so left but love u
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
