it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
