everyone is single if you try hard enough
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
