I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
