Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
