please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
