There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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