i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
operation have a gay friend backfired
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
