Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Fuck appropriateness.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
