It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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