My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
