You kept calling me your small dog last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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