Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
