its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
