At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
