you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
