In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i jhust puked up my retainher.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
