yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
