Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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