Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
