I'm so fucking centered right now
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
