So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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