You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
