just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
are you so shy because you have an std?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
