Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
