dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
