Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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