Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
