No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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