This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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