I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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