So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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