She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
