So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
